Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Where Have All The Good Men Gone by A. J. Kiesling


Reading a book like this makes me so glad I'm no longer a part of the dating world! I know that may seem mean to say, but I have to be honest. For those of us who know Christians who are single and who long for a mate, a book like this can open our eyes to what we're doing that we think helps, but actually hurts.

In short, single or not, this is a good resource to read!

"Where Have All the Good Men Gone" doesn't just focus on women who are single, although that does take up more pages than the men's perspective. Instead, this is well balanced examination of why more and more Christian singles are remaining single and not by choice.

Based on extensive surveys and questionaires, A.J.'s book examines flaws in the entire philosophy of dating and Christian singles ministry, as well as what it is women want from men and vice versa.

In my humble opinion, I think any time we segregate our church congregations into segments based on anything, we're not helping. We need to be ministering to the church as a whole, and when special needs become apparent, then we meet those needs on an individual basis.

But that's just me. For what it's worth.

Now, back to my review:-) You won't like some of what you read in this book; you might not even agree with everything. But you are guaranteed to learn something that will change how you view singleness and how you 'help' your single friends find that special someone, or how you view the opposite sex when it comes to commitment and partnership.

In reading "Where Have All the Good Men Gone", you can feel A.J.'s personal passion for the topic, but she doesn't have tunnel vision. She takes the whole matter, male and female, church and ministry and examines it and discusses it with intelligence and compassion.

Divided into four parts, the first discusses how singles don't want to remain single and the longing she found in both sexes to connect and to marry. The second section disusses her findings with the women's responses to her survey; the third, the men's replies.

Finally, A.J. is not one to show us the problem and leave us there. She ends with a section that is intended to give us new direction and to leave Christian singles with hope for something better, and direction in how to achieve what their hearts long for.

I personally found the book enlightening and my heart went out to women (and men) who long to find that someone to spend their lives with. I also recognized the way the world's philosophy of dating and "mating" has crept into the church, and it's time we took back the ground we've surrendered, people!

I'm giving "Where Have All the Good Men Gone" five out of five bookmarks, and a wedding invitation as a charm with high hopes that this will change the way we view singles and singleness in our churches. Ministry leaders involved in single's ministry: read this book, please!

Happy Reading!



Anonymous said...

Thanks for the review, Deena! I am one of those who is single, and not by choice. I have purposely stayed away from the dating scene, trying to live actively where the Lord has me and wait until I meet someone with a shared vision of home and ministry. Even so, I hope I won't be single forever, or much longer. :-)

I will have to see about getting my hands on this book!

www.ajkiesling.com said...

Thank you, Deena, for the lovely review and book recommendation :-)

You're the best!

A.J. Kiesling