Tuesday, January 22, 2008

On Tour With Brenda Nixon!

Once again, we're on tour with a wonderful author and her book about parenting! This week, I'm featuring Brenda Nixon and her new book, "Parenting Power Through The Early Years".

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A quick read, "Parenting Power" is packed with ideas and lessons for parents who long to "get it right". Beginning with birth and going through age 5, Brenda gives practical and easy to apply counsel that will get your small children off to a solid start in life.

I myself don't have any small children at home now. In fact, my youngest turns 14 on Saturday **sob**:-) But Brenda doesn't just counsel families with little ones. In doing research for this tour, I discovered a wealth of information on her website!

Now, a review is always a good way to get to know a book, but I thought this time getting to know the AUTHOR would be a great way to introduce the BOOK! So, without further blabbin' from me, here's an interview with Brenda on teens and parents that I thought you'd find interesting, especially in light of Allison's book:

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Brenda, why is it that some teenagers seem to hang onto childhood and don’t grow up?

As a mom of two grown daughters, I know the difficulty of letting go. I think I actually let go of them, but then sometimes I find myself taking on their emotional pain as my own. When I do that, I don’t allow my girls to grow up apart from me.

My parenting philosophy is to work yourself out of a job. If we adopt that philosophy, then we can teach our teens to have confidence in their decisions, allow them to experience consequences so they make better decisions, and gradually pull out and stop interfering with their lives. It’s one thing to be available as a consultant to your teen, but it’s another to constantly interfere and treat them as if they were toddlers (even though they sometimes act like that.)

Why do some parents bend over backwards to please their teens?

Some parents feel guilt about their earlier parenting efforts, so they try to “make it up” by allowing inappropriate talk and behavior in the home. Another factor is that parents don’t know when to let go and allow their kids to become fully functioning, independent adults.

What advice would you have for parents who have a disruptive teen living in the home?
First, respect yourself, and set boundaries. Kids respect parents who take time to set rules, boundaries, and limitations. Remember, teens only respect us as much as we respect ourselves.

Second, try to emotionally “pull-away” and observe your teen as a separate individual. Then ask yourself, “Would I allow anyone else to behave this way around me?” Emotional distance may provide objective insight and the needed energy to change your behavior. Once your behavior changes, your child’s will too.

What do you think parents owe their kids?

When children are young, parents are responsible to provide consistent, loving, deliberate childrearing along with the physical provisions of safety, good nutrition, clothes, and education. As children age, they must be taught and permitted to become independent. Parents do not owe material possessions, or a life of ease and void of consequences. Parents should not allow an attitude of entitlement.

Want to get to know Brenda Nixon a little better? Visit Brenda's blog tour website, and Please be sure to visit Brenda's next stop on January 24th at Chatter Matters by Jenn Doucette. You can also check out her previous stop at Little Blots of Faith by Valerie.

Either way, you'll learn a wealth of information about Brenda and about her book, "Parenting Power". If you'd like to win a copy, leave me a comment with the ages of your children, and I'll draw TWO winners next Monday!!

Happy Reading!

Deena

2 comments:

Mama Zen said...

Mine is four (going on 14, I think)!

Laura @ Laura Williams' Musings said...

My children are:

19
9
7
5
3
2
15 months


I blogged your contest on this post:

http://laurawilliamsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/01/tuesday-122-edition-of-contests-galore.html