Sometimes, being a Christian drives me nuts! Not because of what Jesus expects of me, but what others expect of me. I can barely meet my own standards of behavior without adding what you and you and you want me to do.
So I was thrilled to discover the wisdom in the pages of Dr. David Hawkins book, "When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You". This isn't another book of psycho-babble. This is Biblically based counseling that puts "turning the other cheek" into Biblical perspective.
I'm a born people pleaser, and I've been working at breaking this habit for 45 years. Dr. Hawkins describes me to a "T" in his book, and discusses how we often are so quick to make others happy that we somehow lose ourselves--not for the sake of Christ, but to keep the peace or to placate the troubled ones in our lives.
Reading Dr. Hawkins' book helped me to understand why I have such a hard time saying no, especially within ministry. I also learned why it's hard for me to allow others to disagree with my opinions (funny that I write reviews for a 'living', eh?), and why I only feel useful when I'm producing something needed by someone.
With sound Biblical counseling, I'm feeling freer to pursue the joy of the Lord, and the Lord of joy. I'm understanding when it is true servanthood and when it is 'earning love'. And I'm hoping I'm not the only one out there who needs this wise book in his/her life.
I give "When Pleasing Others is Hurting You" five out of five bookmarks, with a blank checklist as a charm. It's time to stop keeping track of the supposed brownie points we're earning and to walk in the freedom purchased for us at Calvary. THEN we will truly have the joy of the Lord in our lives, our families and our churches.